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Tuesday, August 30, 2011


Tonight i went to check out Andrew Brauteseth a.k.a GuyWithCamera's opening at the Tjing Tjing Bar, it was lovely evening, my only real concern was that i stuffed my face at home before i went out (one never knows if they'll be fed or not). And when i got there the food looked amazing but i was so full i couldn't, yes really.  Even though i found the food more visually enticing than the artwork. I am not saying that the art was kak skattie, i really am in no position to say that, i don't have the art history education or photograpic education/skill to be saying shit like that, as i always say i am no art critic, i'm just a lover of free wine who goes to a kakload  of exhibitions. I like some and some i don't like, and i guess tonight was of those nights when i feel truly grateful that i'm not an art critic, i really don't like saying things that make people unhappy, amongst my many other fears i also suffer from a paralysing fear of conflict. Tonight was not really my thing, maybe i'm heavily influenced by that 'pretentious' art crowd i spend a lot of my time around, whatevs. i also hate it when art is accompanied by speeches (like Jill Scott said, 'you're gettin in the way of what i'm feelin'), especially when it's really all about one image, takes balls i guess, to build an exhibition opening around one image and let everyone know you're most proud of it because it wasn't photoshoped. Shit, i do miss my regular 'pretentious' galleries, can't wait for the next opening. Gawd, i hope this doesn't mean i'm some gallery ass-kisser at heart. Anyway, another issue for another therapy session.

 To be fair though i really only had one thing on my mind tonight, the Marie Claire Prix d'Excellence awards in Joburg tomorrow night. I miss Jozi,  that dirty immoral bitch, and i'm so looking forward to my one night stand with her tomorrow, the only downer has been going through a large number of size XL garments to find an outfit. That fucking XL label truly takes the joy out of what should be a fun ritual. Anyway I'm now comfortable (lies) with the fact that I'm gonna be the fattest blogger there. That's really not gonna help my love hate relationship with some of the bloggers who will be there. I love them because they are beautiful and talented people, i also hate the fuckers for their uncanny ability to say NO to trans fats and therefore look hot in designer gear, something i can only dream of (unless like i get some horrible fucking disease that makes me unable to eat for like 5 months and i lose like half my weight, oh my gawd it could be amazing, surely there is no suffering worse than obesity). Oh the sight of an overweight transfat-friedfood-carb eating-kaftan wearing fashion blogger. I've even contemplated wearing that damn kaftan, and that would be in line with my mantra, "when the going gets fat, the fat get kaftans", but my friend Luisa just would not allow it and she gave a few tips. I should mention that i lack the discipline to crash diet for special occasions. In fact last night i cut an extra thick slice of the yellowest cheese for my burger dinner. And this morning i laid that melrose spread nice and thick on my breakfast toast. I wish only for strength to not eat tomorrow so i can suck in my damn gut and hopefully be able to close the buttons on the gorgeous jacket David West hooked me up with. Good lookin out friend and thank goodness you do XL.


  1. I'm sorry but I don't think you should talk about things you clearly don't know anything about. Andrew is talented and emerging in the art world and the people attending were there to support that. Why the need to blog it at all? Just to slam him? Just try have some respect if you ever plan to get any in this industry.

  2. Oh please. That was hardly a "slam". Calm down dude, Mali never claimed to know anything about art, in fact he actually said "i am no art critic". Even though he has attended pretty much every single exhibition for the last few years, oh and his partner is one of the three finalists for the FNB art prize. So while Mali is far too classy a guy to proclaim himself an authority on the subject, let's face it, he knows more about it than most. As for your comment about respect, you'd be hard pressed to find a more polite and respectful person in this pretentious, fucked up industry. Just ask Marie Claire, they gave him a nice slice of respect last night.

  3. Well, the exhibition was cool if you "dig" old Andy. But sadly it was luke warm on the excitement scale, and I think old skattie summed it up well. We left just before the speech, yeah, we got a text saying "there's a fucking speech!". A speech? Hayibo.

    Oh well, Andy is now on the Cape Town editorial circuit, selling what made him different for page space to pay the bills. Lets hope it doesn't kill his soul, chop off his balls or deflate that awesome ego he has.

    Yeah, it's quite incestuous in this industry, and I loved this piece, as obviously someone quite involved looked in, had a good laugh, and strolled off. No worshipping required as the goods to worship were similar to being a pornstar without an erection.

  4. Okay it's taken me a full year to respond, but now that i've thought about it all i have to say is Fuck you Anonymous, and go fuck yourself. Thank you


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